Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Riding the Wave-and Failing to Stay Afloat

Apologies go out to Maria today; via email, I told her that today would be the day I was going to post about that online community I have talked about, the one where I got forced out, and you know, I am trying. The beginnings of a post are there in draft form, but I am really struggling with getting it all together in a way that will make sense. It is coming, I promise; I have a really good idea about something in relation to this post, too, so we'll see if it pans out. I am not ignoring you, honey, I am really not!

On to other things. April and I have been talking some about emotions being waves, and the key to weathering them is learning how to ride it out. Well I tell you, I am having a really really hard time riding this emotional wave; seems like I am battling to stay on top of it, using all of my energy and considerable strength to keep my head above water, and all my thrashing about has done is make me really, really tired. I think for today I am just going to relax and float and let it carry me where it may. With hope, I will make it to shore.

Things on the home front have not been completely smooth the past few weeks; I know that part of it is that the kids are just settling in to the school routine and it is hard for them to make the transition, no matter how excited they are about school. Already the novelty has worn off and homework loads are increasing, and it just a difficult time. However, I can be as understanding as I want to be, but it certainly doesn't excuse bad behavior.

The most recent culprit is Eli, who is 14 and a half and is, well, he's a jerk. He has these chores-chores which he hates to do, which he grumbles about, which he does half-ass in the hopes that I will give up and just do it myself. Not so, little man, no so. I guess I am The Meanest Mom in the World, because I just make him do it over until her gets it right. So his most recent attempt at getting away with doing a crappy job involved sweeping everything off of the kitchen counter onto the floor, sweeping it up, and throwing it away. Which is all well and good save the fact that in the pile he threw away were these things: my bottle of antidepressants, a brand new package (unopened) of my good pens, the ones I use to write letters with, a $10 check from one of my survey sites, and all of the paperwork I needed to reapply for the Idaho Child Care program. I really, really tried to remain calm; I did. But the whole antidepressant thing is what kills me. I mean, what kind of kid just throws a bottle of pills away, a bottle of pills that he sees me open every morning and then place back on the counter? He has been looking for them for four days (meaning I have been out for four days), but finally confessed last night to having thrown them away (along with the above mentioned things). I was stunned. In addition to being stunned, I was and am furious. What the fuck? When asked for an explanation, his reply was that he was mad at me. So, you were mad at me, so you decided to punish ME by throwing away all of this stuff, including the pills that I really, really need. I can't call the doc and ask for another prescription because I get these free because I am poor-$160 a month for these is not something I can do. And I can't reorder for another three week, and they won't arrive until 6 weeks after THAT. The way they have it, I call to reorder when I have 6 weeks left, so I never run out. Anyway, this is the first time I have seen any kind of vindictive streak in Eli; even now, he doesn't seem to GET it. When I totally lost it and yelled, he just looked at me with this cold, calculating look, and then when I felt so overwhelmed and angry that I started crying, he just shrugged.his.shoulders. and walked away. Then later had the balls to tell me he needs new shorts, want to take Cross-Country again this year, AND needs his sports physical by Friday.

And then I go through the inevitable anger about having to do this alone. I am aware that I was overly sensitive last night anyway, but god, sometimes I would give my left arm to have someone in my corner backing me up. Though to some people the loss of antidepressants and paperwork is minor, to me and in my life, this is HUGE. Even more huge is Eli's blatant disregard for anyone's possessions other than his own, just to be mean. This isn't his usual mode, for sure, and I am at a loss as to how to deal with this. I feel so fucking angry that I have to do this on my own; even if I could call his dad and ask for backup, what I would get instead would be snide comments from the StepCunt about my already-questionable parenting abilities, while his dad would be all, "Oh, ha ha, boys will be boys." Yeah, fucker, whatever.

Aargh. So much for riding the wave and relaxing. I think it is time to stop for the day; perhaps tomorrow will be better, right?

PS: Blockbuster still has not returned my money. Can you believe that shit?

***Just like one of those infomercials: "But Wait! There's More!" When I went home for lunch, Eli's puppy had totally trashed the house. The two unopened packages of diapers opened and strewn all over the floor, the bathmat from the bathroom in the living room, my really nice Woolrich wool slippers that I haven't even had a chance to WEAR yet chewed up...see, the dog won't stay in the yard, but Eli spent all of his lawn mowing money on shit and therefore hasn't gotten her a collar with which she can be chained up. Then I had to go to the school and pick up a very, very ill Hannah; after dealing with no less than THREE assholes who work there but apparently spend more time beating off in the teachers lounge than actually working, I finally just walked down the hall and started opening doors; you can bet your ass that got their butts up off the chairs in a hurry: "An unauthorized person has entered the bulding!" There may be repercussions, but I frankly don't give shit. My daugher is sick, they would not stop their gossipfest long enough to call down to her classroom to give her permission to leave, I was going to find her. And about that: I am fairly sure she has a sinus and/or ear infection, she really is quite sick, but I have $50 which has to last until I get paid next Monday. She is the one of four kids with no insuracne; because her stupid dad refuses to take her off Washington Medicaid (and please don't ask me how he is getting away with it) because he has to sign a piece of paper agreeing that she lives with me full time, which nullifies his non-support order. So she can't be on Medicaid in Idaho, yet Washington won't pay for a visit out of state. Long story short, my kid is sick and I can't fix her, my 14 year old kid needs to be sent to Juvie, and I am out of drugs. Dude. This is sooome ride! ***

29 comments:

Martin said...

I NEVER say this in comments, but ((hugs)).

"StepCunt"...priceless.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Kori -- I'm so sorry.

Although the loss of the pills is devestating/frustrating/a pain in the ass...it's what you said about his vindictive streak, the cold calculating look that has me worried. Worried for you and worried for him.

I'm sorry things are sucky lately. Ride the wave, here's hoping it takes you where you need to be.

Anonymous said...

I'm agree with abrightfuture, in that it's Eli's vindictiveness and then total lack of remorse accompanied by entitlement that really bothers me.

I want to say don't let him get away with it but I don't know what you should do about it. Make him give you his next lawn mowing money payout? I have no idea.

I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time. I wish there was something I could do or say that would help.

Anonymous said...

Oh man what an overall horrible experience. I know what you mean about having someone to back you up, it definitely would have come in handy. A lesser mom would have gone postal and been committed in that situation. I know it feels like you don't have it all together, but I'm still constantly in awe of your kick-assness.

Anonymous said...

Kori, I'm so sorry. I really am.

FreedomFirst said...

Oh Kori, I wish I could give you a real hug....

I'm so sorry all of this is piling up on you. I don't have a teenager so I can't really offer advice about Eli, but I'm sorry he is behaving like such a creep. Teenagers can be very cruel indeed. Personally, because I am contrary and feel like people should get their come-uppins right away, I would just refuse to feel bad about bitching at him whenever he gets out of line, and if he makes a comment, say, "What the hell do you expect, throwing away my pills? How else am I supposed to put up with your shit by myself? Tough luck pal."

But that's just me. And granted that approach is about as mature as his approach in tossing them to begin with. Sometimes I still don't have it in me to be an adult, I admit.

If I were you, however, I would DEFINITELY make him pay for the pens, $10 gift card, and anything else replaceable that he threw away in his little toddler tantrum. And remind him that if he has problems he can't deal with, he needs to ask you or even his dad for help, not take them out on you.

I'll be praying for you tonight.

Jennifer said...

OMG Kori--I'm sorry you're dealing w/ all this crap. It is shocking that your son threw all that stuff away--it sounds to me like he wants/needs some special attention right now. I know when my kids act up, some one-on-one time usually helps get them back on track. I'm sorry about your pills!

I hope things get better soon--hang in there! ((hugs))

Unknown said...

THE 12 STEPS DOWN TO HELL

I imagine 12 Step recovery programs are a slow slide into the jaws of Satan. I was involved with this evil “satanic cult” [AA] for over 30 years but was saved through the power of Jesus Christ.

He directed me to a therapist who was into “real” recovery, not the mind destroying, soul destroying, cult, which is AA. I have met two Steppers recently & I imagine they are completely devoid of any emotion or insight.

I feel pain because both these men are decent human beings but AA has destroyed their "brain structure" & they have no idea how to relate apart from expounding AA propaganda.

I imagine Hell to be a continuous flow of AA meetings without any light at the end of the tunnel because one is never REDEEMED. I beg you people who are in 12 Step programs, to get out before it is too late.

How is one REDEEMED, when one is handing one’s power over to AA. The 12 Steps were written out of Wilson’s head, he certainly didn’t get his guidance from the Bible. I imagine he was an agent of Satan & he & Smith’s “cult religion” has filled millions of Steppers with their anti - Christ propaganda.

Step Three of AA is "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him." While many in the Oxford Group placed their faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour, there was much leeway given.

Shoemaker, a leader of the Oxford Group, says, "The true meaning of faith is self-surrender to God." He further explains:
Surrender to whatever you know about Him, or believe must be the truth about Him. Surrender to Him, if necessary, in total ignorance of Him.

Far more important that you touch Him than that you understand Him at first. Put yourself in His hands. Whatever He is, as William James said, He is more ideal than we are. Make the leap. Give yourself to Him.

Aside from capitalizing the "H," which Christians do to refer to the God of the Bible, "Him" could refer to any god of one’s own making [BEDPAN).

Can you see what is happening to you? Ask JESUS to take control of your life, read the Bible & instead of 12 Step groups, go to Church. BURN your BIG BOOK or use it as TOILET PAPER.

Can you see the difference: With The 12 Steps, one is being CONTROLLED by SATAN, but with John 3:16 one is guaranteed ETERNAL SALVATION. The “ball is in your court?"

I, PATRICK, AM A GIFT TO ALL PEOPLE.

Unknown said...

THE MARK OF THE BEAST

1 Cor: 6:9-11:
“Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God?
Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate,
or abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor DRUNKARDS, nor revilers, nor swindlers shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified,
but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.”

The word "alcoholic" is not in the BIBLE. There is no mention of the 12 Steps or that ALCOHOLISM, is a DISEASE – in the BIBLE. One is either a DRUNKARD or was a DRUNKARD – end of story. Bill Wilson manufactured the BIG BOOK & the 12 STEPS out of his head, and millions of GROUPERS (12 STEPPERS) have been “hoodwinked” by his anti – Christ propaganda. Labelling oneself, as an ALCOHOLIC is THE MARK OF THE BEAST , – one has condemned oneself to the fiery furnace. In HELL, there is no chance of REDEMPTION.

AA is HELL!!

I, PATRICK, AM THE HOLY ONE OF GOD.

Unknown said...

THE TRUTH ABOUT ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Filed under: Rants — spedman @ Jun 22nd, 2007

When you think about Alcoholics Anonymous you think of a group that
helps those with an addiction break the habit and become sober. You think of a program that betters someone with an addiction to alcohol.

What you do not think is cult. The truth is alcoholics anonymous is simply a cult, one of the longest lasting ones at that. Throughout this paper I will prove to you just that.

Alcoholics Anonymous was created by two alcoholics by the names of William Wilson and Dr. Bob in 1935. They wrote books on the subject and gathered at arranged meetings every week to talk about there addiction. The program grew from there and they recruited many people with the enticing opportunity of becoming sober once again.

The problem is the program is so flawed and non-effective it is almost impossible to become sober using its set rules and guidelines.

Alcoholics Anonymous still uses these books as there doctrine today, even though they have proven not effective. How can a program be created around guidelines written by two men who continually fell back into alcoholism?

I see no way it can possibly work. Aside from its ineffectiveness, Alcoholics Anonymous runs solely on intimidation, false hopes, and the forced belief in god. Regardless of what Alcoholics denies it is very evident they promote religion.

As stated above Alcoholics Anonymous denies that they promote religion, yet constantly they say that its members must find god. It seems to me that that is promotion of religion. Federal courts even deemed Alcoholics Anonymous “unequivocally religious.”

Through out AA’s history you can find thousands of remarks dealing with religion and even the sole belief that the only thing that matters is the AA program.

Everything else must come second to AA. Here are a few things commonly stated at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings; “Alcoholics must turn to god.”, “Choosing to go to AA is choosing to find god.”, “Submission of the individual to the will of god is necessary.”, “Surrender your will to a greater will.”, “If you can not manage yourself turn to god.”

If you can not see that those statements are in every way religious I don’t know what will.
Aside from those statements the two founders often say that the member must rely on the program and the program alone.

If you read through there books you will be amazed at some of the things they say, often putting the program above family and other aspects of life.

I was truly amazed at this quote from William Wilson; “I decided I must place AA above everything else, even my family, because if I did not maintain sobriety I would lose them anyway.” A man placed the AA program above his family, regardless of the reason that is a very strong sense of commitment.

Many AA members read those very same words. If a founder gave up his family, would not a member do the same? “But there is one who has all power—the one is god! May you find him now.” Simply put, AA is religious.

Alcoholics Anonymous as a group does many of the same things dangerous cults like the Manson family or Jones town did. But first we will talk about the founders of AA. Bill Wilson has become idolized.

Much like the way everyone in the Manson family did whatever Charlie said without question. His home has become a shrine, and his belongings have become highly sought after items by the 12 step community.

Some members even believe that he could possibly have been the reincarnation of Christ. The core members, although they deny having any leaders in AA, are often referred to as “trusted servants.”

This label tags these members, the trusted servants, with a great amount of moral authority because the regular AA members believe that these members are representing AA’s history back to Bill W. and even to the Loving God AA obediently serves. Clearly this is cult like behavior!

Let’s talk about the effectiveness of the program. The twelve step program is NOT effective. If it were not for one leaked document there would not be much proof of to aide these remarks. Alcoholics Anonymous never releases any sort of documentation on the success of rehabilitating alcoholics. So naturally they can say they are the greatest in the world or that they have a 100% success rate.

But, in 1989 an internal document was released, and on this document was statistics. It showed that 81% of AA members leave after one month, 90% of AA members leave after three months, 93% of AA members leave after six months, and 95% of AA members leave before twelve months.

Alcoholics Anonymous has a success rate of 5%! It gets better. A percentage as small as 5% is considered to be spontaneous. This means that those 5% would have recovered without Alcoholics Anonymous. Let me break it down one more time just to make sure you get it. Success rate with AA: 5%, success rate without AA: 5%.

A side note, Hospitals gave alcoholics LSD, a hallucinogen type drug, to break down alcohol cravings. This abnormal treatment had a 15% success rate, theoretically proving that LSD is three times more effective at recovering alcoholics then Alcoholics Anonymous. A former Alcoholics Anonymous spokes person said; “A majority of AA members slip after one month.

Others stay dry up to six months but eventually slip before the twelfth month.” Coming from a former spokesperson I think maybe people should take that into consideration.

Another quote fro ma spokesperson; “95% of newcomers do not ever attend a second meeting.” How great can your policy be if you can not even entice people to come more then once? The 5% of people who join AA would quit on there own. No need for the middle man.

Despite this alarming failure rate, Alcoholics Anonymous claims to be the only path to salvation. Alcoholics Anonymous tells its members that they must accept it’s doctrine despite its discrepancies.

The twelve step program provides no methods of quitting, simply to just quit drinking. How many people do you know that can simply quit an addiction? One would think that they would revise there methods to get better results.

Instead AA just says their program requires an unquestioning belief in obedience. When the program doesn’t work they just blame the person for failing, it is never AA’s fault.

The original founders tended to classify alcoholism as a “sin disease”. This is not possible. For one the philosophy of a “sin disease” is not possible in a free society. This is not a country run on religion.

Therefore again proving AA to be religious. By slapping the idea of alcoholism being a sin on it’s members it again gains the upper hand and has the ability to control its members by saying anything they want as long as it’s in the name of god. As soon as you go to AA it is very hard to get away.

Remember, it is a cult. AA is very possessive. They go to great lengths to bring you back. There are documentations of intimidation tactics being used, continuous phone calls, members often telling you that you will be damned if you do not return. They take growing there ranks very seriously.

Let’s break AA down. Alcoholics Anonymous is a highly religious group that thrives on the writings of it’s founders and put all of there belief in the writings and the twelve step program.

Regardless of if it actually works. The members put the core members and the program above anything else in there lives. If it were necessary for AA to have the deed of their house they would give it to them.

They do not second guess anything AA tells them to do, remember it is “gods will.” If a member becomes an alcoholic again, it is in no way the programs fault. The program always works as long as the member has total dedication and full belief in the power of “god.”

Friends, if Alcoholics Anonymous is not a cult I don’t know what is. If you can not see this by reading this paper then by all means go to any of the sources on my work cited paper.

They have plenty of links and valid information based on Harvard studies and trustworthy sources. You can make your own decision, but it is very evident: Alcoholics Anonymous is unquestionably a cult.

I, PATRICK, AM THE LORD'S LIGHT & SALVATION FOR OTHER PEOPLE.

FreedomFirst said...

Wow. Somebody missed the part of Christianity where you don't spam/tear down/abuse other people. Where did all this garbage come from? I'm all for religion over therapy, but that doesn't mean there is no place for therapy. And if something helps someone, then who are you to tell them it's the wrong thing for them? The arrogance!

Feel free to delete this if you wish, Kori, as I have no desire to turn your blog into another religious war like that stupid moms' panel. I just thought I'd put in my 2 cants while I was thinking of it.

FreedomFirst said...

Oh yeah, one more thing. It will be interesting to see what God considers the "success rate" of these so-called Christian churches, come Judgment Day.

FreedomFirst said...

I just can't resist adding this, although I know I'm really getting a bit carried away here. Sorry.

Hey Patrick, why does your rant look like one of those scam ads, with lots of exclamation points and bold uppercase letters?

Also, why does it make no sense at all? And ramble so badly? And by the way, do you actually attend a church, or are you looking to start your own anti-AA cult?

I can't help wondering if your posts were actually some kind of lame joke, looking at the signatures you added. I have a hard time believing anyone is really dumb enough to think that about themselves.....

I find it embarrassing as a Christian to see this kind of crap being touted under the banner of Christianity.

Anonymous said...

Oh lord (yes patrick, I used a lower case "l". I did it for your name too. ha!). I didn't get to finish reading your diatribes because, well, because I was laughing too hard to continue. Everyone has said what I would've said but I do have to add, I, PATRICK, AM A GIFT TO ALL PEOPLE? Really? Is this the humility of christ (see, I did the lower case thing again)? Are you the big jc (I did it again! I just can't stop!)? I mean, you have basically said that you are I AM and that you are god's give to the world. Hmmm...sounds like jc to me. If so, do you think you could get your father, the head honcho, to show kori some slack? She's a great mom, a great person, and a wonderful friend.

Oh, and I agree that AA is soul destroying. One time, I had a flight delayed for over six hours. They didn't give me a food voucher and when the flight finally took off they put my bags on the wrong plane! Damn AA!!

Unknown said...

BILL WILSON'S PACT WITH SATAN

From Bill's Story:
Co - founder of AA, Bill Wilson's story has been in every edition of the book Alcoholics Anonymous.


With ministers, and the world's religions, I parted right there. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory.

To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. His moral teaching -- most excellent. For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not too difficult; the rest I disregarded.


My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"

That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.

It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning.

I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend. Would I have it? Of course I would!

Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came into view.

The real significance of my experience in the Cathedral burst upon me. For a brief moment, I had needed and wanted God. There had been a humble willingness to have Him with me -- and He came.

But soon the sense of His presence had been blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself. And so it had been ever since. How blind I had been.

At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs of delirium tremens.

There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then I understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost.

I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since. Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid.

It meant destruction of self-centredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light-SATAN who presides over us all.

These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never know. There was utter confidence.

I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. God comes to most men gradually, but His impact on me was sudden and profound.

For a moment I was alarmed, and called my friend, the doctor, to ask if I were still sane. He listened in wonder as I talked.

Finally he shook his head saying, "Something has happened to you I don't understand. But you had better hang on to it. Anything is better than the way you were." The good doctor now sees many men who have such experiences. He knows that they are real.

While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me. Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turn might work with others.

PATRICK'S RESPONSE
There is no mention of JESUS CHRIST in the BIG BOOK or the 12 STEPS. Wilson was used by SATAN to delude millions of people.

John 3:16 (chapter 3, verse 16 of the Gospel of John) is one of the most widely quoted verses from the Christian Bible. It has been called the "Bible in a nutshell" because it is considered a summary of some of the most central doctrines of traditional Christianity:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.

I, PATRICK, AM ONE OF GOD'S MARVELOUS DEEDS THAT MAKES IT KNOWN TO ALL THE NATIONS.

Unknown said...

BILL WILSON'S PACT WITH SATAN

From Bill's Story:
Co - founder of AA, Bill Wilson's story has been in every edition of the book Alcoholics Anonymous.


With ministers, and the world's religions, I parted right there. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory.

To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. His moral teaching -- most excellent. For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not too difficult; the rest I disregarded.


My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"

That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.

It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning.

I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend. Would I have it? Of course I would!

Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came into view.

The real significance of my experience in the Cathedral burst upon me. For a brief moment, I had needed and wanted God. There had been a humble willingness to have Him with me -- and He came.

But soon the sense of His presence had been blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself. And so it had been ever since. How blind I had been.

At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs of delirium tremens.

There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then I understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost.

I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since. Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid.

It meant destruction of self-centredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light-SATAN who presides over us all.

These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never know. There was utter confidence.

I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. God comes to most men gradually, but His impact on me was sudden and profound.

For a moment I was alarmed, and called my friend, the doctor, to ask if I were still sane. He listened in wonder as I talked.

Finally he shook his head saying, "Something has happened to you I don't understand. But you had better hang on to it. Anything is better than the way you were." The good doctor now sees many men who have such experiences. He knows that they are real.

While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me. Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turn might work with others.

PATRICK'S RESPONSE
There is no mention of JESUS CHRIST in the BIG BOOK or the 12 STEPS. Wilson was used by SATAN to delude millions of people.

John 3:16 (chapter 3, verse 16 of the Gospel of John) is one of the most widely quoted verses from the Christian Bible. It has been called the "Bible in a nutshell" because it is considered a summary of some of the most central doctrines of traditional Christianity:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.

I, PATRICK, AM ONE OF GOD'S MARVELOUS DEEDS THAT MAKES IT KNOWN TO ALL THE NATIONS.

Unknown said...

BILL WILSON'S PACT WITH SATAN

From Bill's Story:
Co - founder of AA, Bill Wilson's story has been in every edition of the book Alcoholics Anonymous.


With ministers, and the world's religions, I parted right there. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory.

To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. His moral teaching -- most excellent. For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not too difficult; the rest I disregarded.


My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"

That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.

It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning.

I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend. Would I have it? Of course I would!

Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came into view.

The real significance of my experience in the Cathedral burst upon me. For a brief moment, I had needed and wanted God. There had been a humble willingness to have Him with me -- and He came.

But soon the sense of His presence had been blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself. And so it had been ever since. How blind I had been.

At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs of delirium tremens.

There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then I understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost.

I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since. Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid.

It meant destruction of self-centredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light-SATAN who presides over us all.

These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never know. There was utter confidence.

I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. God comes to most men gradually, but His impact on me was sudden and profound.

For a moment I was alarmed, and called my friend, the doctor, to ask if I were still sane. He listened in wonder as I talked.

Finally he shook his head saying, "Something has happened to you I don't understand. But you had better hang on to it. Anything is better than the way you were." The good doctor now sees many men who have such experiences. He knows that they are real.

While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me. Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turn might work with others.

PATRICK'S RESPONSE
There is no mention of JESUS CHRIST in the BIG BOOK or the 12 STEPS. Wilson was used by SATAN to delude millions of people.

John 3:16 (chapter 3, verse 16 of the Gospel of John) is one of the most widely quoted verses from the Christian Bible. It has been called the "Bible in a nutshell" because it is considered a summary of some of the most central doctrines of traditional Christianity:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.

I, PATRICK, AM ONE OF GOD'S MARVELOUS DEEDS THAT MAKES IT KNOWN TO ALL THE NATIONS.

Unknown said...

BILL WILSON'S PACT WITH SATAN

From Bill's Story:
Co - founder of AA, Bill Wilson's story has been in every edition of the book Alcoholics Anonymous.


With ministers, and the world's religions, I parted right there. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory.

To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. His moral teaching -- most excellent. For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not too difficult; the rest I disregarded.


My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"

That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.

It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning.

I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend. Would I have it? Of course I would!

Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came into view.

The real significance of my experience in the Cathedral burst upon me. For a brief moment, I had needed and wanted God. There had been a humble willingness to have Him with me -- and He came.

But soon the sense of His presence had been blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself. And so it had been ever since. How blind I had been.

At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs of delirium tremens.

There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then I understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost.

I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since. Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid.

It meant destruction of self-centredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light-SATAN who presides over us all.

These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never know. There was utter confidence.

I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. God comes to most men gradually, but His impact on me was sudden and profound.

For a moment I was alarmed, and called my friend, the doctor, to ask if I were still sane. He listened in wonder as I talked.

Finally he shook his head saying, "Something has happened to you I don't understand. But you had better hang on to it. Anything is better than the way you were." The good doctor now sees many men who have such experiences. He knows that they are real.

While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me. Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turn might work with others.

PATRICK'S RESPONSE
There is no mention of JESUS CHRIST in the BIG BOOK or the 12 STEPS. Wilson was used by SATAN to delude millions of people.

John 3:16 (chapter 3, verse 16 of the Gospel of John) is one of the most widely quoted verses from the Christian Bible. It has been called the "Bible in a nutshell" because it is considered a summary of some of the most central doctrines of traditional Christianity:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.

I, PATRICK, AM ONE OF GOD'S MARVELOUS DEEDS THAT MAKES IT KNOWN TO ALL THE NATIONS.

Unknown said...

BILL WILSON'S PACT WITH SATAN

From Bill's Story:
Co - founder of AA, Bill Wilson's story has been in every edition of the book Alcoholics Anonymous.


With ministers, and the world's religions, I parted right there. When they talked of a God personal to me, who was love, superhuman strength and direction, I became irritated and my mind snapped shut against such a theory.

To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. His moral teaching -- most excellent. For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not too difficult; the rest I disregarded.


My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"

That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.

It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning.

I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend. Would I have it? Of course I would!

Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came into view.

The real significance of my experience in the Cathedral burst upon me. For a brief moment, I had needed and wanted God. There had been a humble willingness to have Him with me -- and He came.

But soon the sense of His presence had been blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself. And so it had been ever since. How blind I had been.

At the hospital I was separated from alcohol for the last time. Treatment seemed wise, for I showed signs of delirium tremens.

There I humbly offered myself to God, as I then I understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost.

I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. I have not had a drink since. Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid.

It meant destruction of self-centredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light-SATAN who presides over us all.

These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric. There was a sense of victory, followed by such a peace and serenity as I had never know. There was utter confidence.

I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. God comes to most men gradually, but His impact on me was sudden and profound.

For a moment I was alarmed, and called my friend, the doctor, to ask if I were still sane. He listened in wonder as I talked.

Finally he shook his head saying, "Something has happened to you I don't understand. But you had better hang on to it. Anything is better than the way you were." The good doctor now sees many men who have such experiences. He knows that they are real.

While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me. Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turn might work with others.

PATRICK'S RESPONSE
There is no mention of JESUS CHRIST in the BIG BOOK or the 12 STEPS. Wilson was used by SATAN to delude millions of people.

John 3:16 (chapter 3, verse 16 of the Gospel of John) is one of the most widely quoted verses from the Christian Bible. It has been called the "Bible in a nutshell" because it is considered a summary of some of the most central doctrines of traditional Christianity:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.

I, PATRICK, AM ONE OF GOD'S MARVELOUS DEEDS THAT MAKES IT KNOWN TO ALL THE NATIONS.

Unknown said...

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Unknown said...

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Unknown said...

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Unknown said...

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Unknown said...

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FreedomFirst said...

*YAWN*

Yeah, I know, I'm totally tit-for-tatting here.

My goodness, Patrick. You are even more childish and screwed up than I ever thought possible! Are you writing this from a cell somewhere? Because you obviously have no life at all. Thou sucketh.... Thou art incredibly lame.... And apparently, bored beyond the limits of thy sanity.... BOOOOOO!!!! HISSSSSSS!!!

Hopefully, Kori will delete your crap and my response before you even have a chance to see it.

ROFLMAO!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, shit. Now I feel like a fool. Kori, do you know that you have a fake troll? Patrick is not a Christian (maybe he is, but no for the purpose of this). Patrick is one of those guys who sits in his house trolling people, just to get a reaction.

Delete his comments; they're just a prank. Leave one though; that shit's hysterical.

Ronda's Rants said...

Kori....Patrick is scaring me!!!

LiteralDan said...

Wow, I can't believe I missed this insanity-- that's what I get, I suppose... :-(

Anonymous said...

Wow! WTF did I miss? Has anyone shot this guy and made him a martyr yet? Seriously, he'd be great for the job.