Thursday, September 4, 2008

Letter to Netflix

Dear Netflix,

I owe you a sincere apology. When you were going through some shipping and billing issues, I did not give you a chance to straighten them out, and I allowed our wonderful, fulfilling relationship of two years to fall by the wayside without giving you a second chance. You can't know how terrible I feel about this, and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

I also have a confession to make: during the last month of our separation, I cheated on you. I bought into the hype and the supposed benefits (and the additional 1000 points I got from MyPoints was also a huge influence, I am sad to say) and actually **gasp**signed up for Blockbuster. In my defense, and I will admit it is a shabby defense at best, I really and truly believed that Blockbuster had my best interests at heart. The services offered were almost exactly the same as yours, and the price was actually better. In front of God and everybody, I will admit now that I am a whore; I was in the relationship for the money. I mean, a $5 savings is a $5 savings, right?

Wrong. I was so, so wrong, and am paying dearly for my fickle taste and my unwillingness to shell out money. You see, from the very beginning, Blockbuster treated me poorly. Within minutes of signing up for my "free" trial, they had put a hold on my debit card for $19.99. This was okay, really, I understand that they wanted to make sure I had the money prior to putting out for me. I get that. You did the same thing when I first signed up for your free trial two years ago, using the very same debit card. Then, it took them very nearly a week to get my movies shipped out to me. Again, I gave them the benefit of the doubt by thinking that perhaps once everything got processed, it would all go much more smoothly. Not so, Netflix, not so. During this "free" trial, I was only able to get two movie shipments; this, despite the fact that the nearest shipping facility is is Salt Lake, which gets mail from here overnight. You, on the other hand, are the exact same distance from me going west as they are going east, and you have a three-day-turnaround.

The last straw occurred yesterday, when I received an email from Blockbuster informing me that my payment had been declined. Even though they had already put on hold the amount at the beginning of the free trial. I emailed Customer Service and explained that they already had a hold on the money, and they should just, you know, use it. The person who replied to me carried the very dubious title of Customer Service Representative, and I say dubious because I really believe the only thing this person I will call P. is capable of servicing would be the neighbor's dog. Just saying. To make a very long story short, I got a lecture about how my debit card works (because, you know, I haven't been using it very long, just two years. I might not really know how it works), and how even though my account summary says they have the amount on hold, they really don't. Apparently, dear Netflix, I have also somehow forgotten how to read a financial statement. Ultimately, P. told me that he can't help me, and he will just cancel my account on my behalf. Since, you know, I wasn't willing to pay AGAIN. And I'll be damned, I am not getting my money back! Since according to THEIR records, they never put a hold on my account for the $19.99. I did offer to fax old P. a copy of MY billing statement, which shows the amount of the hold, the date it was put into place, and even the terminal number from which the transaction was generated. P. said no thanks, they would just go by their records.

So once again, my desire to save a buck and perhaps get better services has backfired, and not only am I out the $19.99 (believe me, though, I am not done with Blockbuster yet; they have no idea just how squeaky this wheel can get!), but I no longer have a movie service. I am asking you , begging you now, if you can please forgive me and just let me come back. I promise to remain faithful to you this time, and not allow some petty little shipping issue come between us. I promise to spread word of your rapid turnaround, your excellent Customer Service, the vast array of choices available, and the variety of payment plans if you will just please allow me to be one of your customers again. The only problem is that I have to wait until Blockbuster coughs up my dough OR I get paid again so I can load more money onto my card. If you can be patient with me just one more week, I will gladly leap back into your arms and never leave you again.

Sincerely, adoringly, and penitently yours,

Kori

20 comments:

Melissa said...

I hate when stuff like that happens. I'm going through a similar pain with my bank and money that got taken out of my account to pay a bill that never got to the recipient.

Did you ever see Better off Dead?

Susie said...

If I were Netflix, I would take you back, just cause you are so funny!

Kristin H. said...

Aaaawwww, that's sweet. How could they not take you back after a letter like that ;) Just don't offer any sexual favors. Just sayin'.

Immoral Matriarch said...

F'ing Blockbuster.

FreedomFirst said...

Oh my! Yeah, you really need to ream those so-called "Customer Service Representatives" a new one. Demand to speak to a manager, the financial department, all that. They sound about like Comcast. Which is why I will gladly do without any service Comcast offers from now on, even web service, than go back to them. Hey, I can always use my Mom's computer if it's that bad.

You can also file a formal complaint with your bank and ask them to investigate. Usually they will release the hold temporarily while they look into it, and since Blockbuster claims not to have a hold, they should have no problem relinquishing it.

Tara R. said...

That seriously sucks! Do you want us all to get a letter writing campaign going, or a blog assault on Blockbuste? We'd do it for you!

hugabug1 said...

You are hilarious and Netflix ROCKS! Look out Blockbuster. I hope they realize soon who they're dealing with and give you your money. :)

April said...

Everyone I know who has tried to leave Netflix for BBuster (BallBuster might be more appropriate) has come groveling back. Netflix is a true gentle being - you're always welcomed home again!

Ronda's Rants said...

We like netflix but...I have to say this past weekend we tried Red Box (I think that's what it's called) 24 hours for a dollar. We rented 2 movies! It was a good deal!:)

Susie said...

I left you a little something on my blog... Check it out.

maggie's mind said...

Once in a very great while I wonder about Blockbuster, but Netflix has never done me wrong, so I never tried. I'm glad I didn't. ;) It always annoyed me that anyone else doing the Netflix-style thing was just a copycat, too.

Ronda's Rants said...

Okay ...you are in ...just check back and make sure I out the right story in. Sometimes...I fake stupid really well!

Ronda's Rants said...

Okay...I can't find the story...send me the link either by email (check my profile) or just leave a comment on either blog. Thank you, Ronda

pisceshanna said...

Grrr F U CORPORATE AMERICA! Half of Netflix's appeal was its grassroot, humble beginning, which Blockbuster blatantly RIPPED OFF. I heart heart heart my Netflix, even if sometimes the movies don't show up on the day its supposed to.

Ronda's Rants said...

Kori...really great vacation story!
Really. very. good. actually!
:)

LaskiGal said...

Awe . . . perfect!

And, I LOVE MyPoints. LOVE it.

Anna-b-bonkers said...

Oh Kori! I love you! You are so funny even when it is about something that has ticked you off.
How could Netflix refuse, heck I am standing here with open arms. You are so sweet!
I have to say though that I have never heard of this type of movie rental. I am so under a rock! We rent ours off satalite directly to our tv recording system but this concept intrigues me!

LiteralDan said...

I'm glad you mentioned that you aren't done with them, because I would use $25 of stamps just to prove that they owed me the $20, if I had to. I don't see anything wrong with that.

As for Netflix, I disagree with Kristin-- you are totally going to have to offer some "extra attention" to get back in their good graces. They've been burned before.

MoziEsmé said...

Aw what a sweet love letter!

THopgood said...

LOL! Thanks for the tip!

I think they should give you your first month free after this funny funny post!