Thursday, April 2, 2009

A Case of The Blahs

The night last night wasn't as quiet and fun as I had hoped. Hannah and I got into a discussion about her homework, which led to several hours of the silent treatment from her. Then I knocked on her door to tell her it was time to shower and found her crying; she had tried to call her dad again, to no avail, and she is heartbroken. I felt furious-not with her, but with him. And not just for letting her down one.more.time., but for leaving me to deal with the fallout. It surprises me that he is doing this, actually. Mrs. 4444 asked me if these was a snarky nickname for him somewhere in the blog and I actually had to think about it; no, I don't think there is, mainly because we don't generally have problems with him at all, not until this last year and even then not TERRIBLE like the last few months. Anyway, I just get tired of it, you know? Tired of being the one who is there consistently, day in and day out, providing everything they need physically and being The Stable One (okay, maybe stable is stretching it, but you get my drift), only to also be the least important person simply BECAUSE I am the one there. Grrrr.

Also, Fry Night wasn't as successful as it has been in the past, mainly because none of the kids wanted to participate. Nice. Steve and I went ahead and had catfish (which I had never had, and I didn't like it at all. It was too, I don't know-just icky) and Caesar salad, and the kids ate leftover pizza and burritos. Owen liked the fish, though, so he basically had two dinners. The brownies were, however, quite delicious.

I don't know. It wasn't a BAD night, per se, just-not a great one. I think we are all on edge right now to an extent, each of us feeling a wide variety of emotions, and I just tried really hard to be gentle with everyone. I was in bed by just after ten, which was lovely, but all in all, I am just suffering a case of the blahs right now.

I did call Hannah's counselor and let her know that the trial was on, so made arrangements with her to have a short session on Tuesday night for some last minute bolstering. I don't know that it will HELP Hannah, but I know it won't hurt, and I think I will feel better having her go in one last time for added strength. The rest will just have to fall into place, and I feel better taking some kind of action, no matter how small.

Yes, definitely the blahs. I don't even have dinner tonight planned-which is totally unlike me, but-ugh. Blah. Cold cereal and toast tonight, maybe.

12 comments:

tutugirl1345 said...

I'm guessing Hannah's dad is afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. Unfortunately, he's not being brave like he should be and helping her regardless of what she's feeling. Coward.

I'm sorry y'all are so on edge right now! I hope it lessens a little this weekend, so y'all can have some fun together!

matt said...

Whenever I get the blahs I don't cook dinner either. My recommendation? Stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut and beer. Makes everything better. :)

FreedomFirst said...

I'm really sorry you guys are down right now. Courage. :)

April said...

You ARE the stable one for Hannah and all of your kids, and they will remember that. I love you.

MoziEsmé said...

Cereal & toast sounds good - though Fry Night sounds better!

Hope Hannah's dad does come through for her. I can imagine it's really hard to be on your end of things. Hugs your way...

Tara R. said...

Maybe Hannah's dad will come through in the end. Hoping anyway.

You have been awesome through all this. She'll remember that too.

Kel said...

I'm sorry...I know how you feel always being the one there and being so mad that the other half should provide something even when they don't...hang in there! :)
~K

Ms. Moon said...

Yep. I agree with April.

HalfAsstic.com said...

Bless your heart! And Hannah's too, of course. Kids are just SO difficult at that age! And I'm glad you understand that she is reaching out to her dad and not you because you are the one that is already there. You are definitely the important one in her life, even if she doesn't act like it!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

In the end, when it all one way or another passes by, she'll know you were the one there for her every single step of the way.

Rachael said...

I'm sorry. I hate when kids have to deal with things like this from their parents. As if she doesn't have enough on her plate, her Dad has to be inconsistent in her life. I hope things get better soon.

Mrs4444 said...

I hope you're feeling better...