Monday, May 5, 2008

Monday Again!

I pretty well exhausted my capacity for Completely Positive Blogging on Friday; sorry, I just don't have it in me to do the perky soccer mom bit for long, at not without large amounts of some kind of mind-altering-or is it mood altering?-substance on board. So sorry, I am sure it is a let down for y'all.

I got stung by a wasp this morning. In a very, very personal place. Or close to a personal place. See, I like to use the clothesline to dry my clothes, but forgot until this morning that the Capris I wanted to wear (because they make my ass look cute) were still on the line. In rather a hurry to get out to the clothesline and get the pants before the neighbors saw me (I was in my undies), I just grabbed them off the line and put them on right there on the lawn. And woke up a very large wasp; clearly, they aren't morning creatures, because the fucker stung me-twice. I now have two big welts right by my hoo-ha, where the leg bends when you walk, or sit, or move at all. In pain and slightly panicked, where was a brief moment or six when I was sure I couldn't breathe and that I was having an allergic reaction and that I would go into anaphylactic shock and be dead before any of the kids even realized I wasn't back in the house, but then at the last minute I realized that I was short of breath because I was still holding my lit cigarette (notice I wasn't panicked enough to drop THAT!) and the smoke was swirling around me like a small fog. Whew. What a relief. I think.

It was a nice end to a rather eventful weekend. See, we went to spend the night with my niece and have this cool family cookout thing at a place called Balanced Rock. And it WAS fun, all things considered. Sometimes when my family gets together, though, it is something of a comedy of errors, and this was one of those times. It began when I found out that Owen gets carsick. The puke involved with getting carsick smells WAY different than the puke that comes with being sick, and I am sure glad we were almost there because I was totally sympathy-gagging. And it just got better.

We got down to the place where we were cooking, and My niece's husband thought it would be fun to try to teach my 15 year old daughter how to drive a stick-shift. I think she made it about 10 yards before she hit panicked, hit the gas instead of the clutch, and hit the little picnic shelter. Thankfully not the one we were in, because she hit it hard. Hard enough to actually push the table up into Shae's front bumper, splintering the table (of course), and also pulling the metal bench posts out of the concrete floor. Nice. I was also up for Mom of the Year award up until that moment, because I totally lost ALL my points when I told her that...well. Never mind what I told her, it was ugly, and I still feel like shit about it. I was later able to give her comfort and love and concern, as well as be completely grateful that nobody was hurt; everyone there had some bad car story to tell her, so it wasn't as if she was alone in having done something so stupid. Still, it really is a big deal, $$ wise-a big deal in that I don't HAVE any.

But hey, we dealt, and went on to have a great time. Nobody fell into the fire, Owen actually ate and swallowed a bite of turkey (we deep fried a turkey) before he realized that it was actually flesh, and when my oldest sister flashed her beautiful, obviously expensive engagement ring, I was actually able to tell her I was happy for her and almost mean it. That is progress. I AM happy for her-I am just jealous as heel that everyone around me is getting married and I can't get a fucking date. You know.

It's funny how when one thing goes wrong, it just keeps coming. We got the Shae and Kat's house and there was no power, so we were all scurrying around looking for the lanterns and O. was kind of wandering around in the dark crying...thankfully, I happened to have a propane lantern in the Blazer, and Shae had one as well, so we had lights finally. No heat or water (they have a well), but light. Then I woke up in the middle of the night to hear Sam wheezing like mad, his lips pale-and no inhaler to be found. I sat up with him in the cold air outside for awhile until his wheezing got better, and it was actually kind of nice to be up with him in the middle of the night with no one around. See, he had been holding a grudge because on Friday, he was performing in a Cinco de Mayo program at school (he got chosen to play a real part), but I had to miss it due to a staff meeting here at the damn job, and he was hurt and really hadn't spoken much to me. We didn't talk about it then, either, because he understand that there are times when the job just has to come first, but it still hurt his feelings. At any rate, we sat outside for awhile and just looked at the stars and cuddled, and he felt better.

And I felt better. I have been under a certain amount of strain lately, strain that I thought my vacation would help with, and it is always there. These things happen, like an accident or an illness or a missed school program, and I am immediately thrust back into the stomach-knotting anxiety of wondering just how it is that I am supposed to do this, to be okay with who I am and where I am at. It is frightening, almost all of the time, because it will only take one thing of not-even-major proportion to put us literally on the street. I lose a lot of sleep worrying about things like the fact that I have tow birthdays coming up within two days-Sam and Owen-and have to decide whether to pay the phone bill or buy presents. I worry about so much, all of the time, and walk around with an underlying feeling of dread. I DO have a good life, and am not diminishing that in any way; there are lots of good things and good people in my life, and I AM grateful and fairly content. But. Yep, there is always a but.

All in all, though, I can look back at the events of the weekend, the things that went wrong AND the things that went right, and still feel like I am coming out ahead. These things, well, we will look at them later and laugh, even the accident, even the wasp sting. Some of it, like the hurt Sam felt, aren't going to be forgotten, but neither is he going to be scarred for life. I hope. All in all, life is pretty funny, and beautiful, and certainly NOT boring~!

7 comments:

April said...

You know I feel you on all of this, and all of it makes sense to me. But one thing: you and I just aren't going to be the people who end up homeless. We will swallow our pride, and do what we have to do in order to not make that happen. I can say it without hesitation with you, and even after my own hesitation with me, I know that's just not an option for either of us.

Anonymous said...

First of all,let me tell you how relieved I am that you're not going to keep up with the Snow White, birds singing, butterflies flying bullshit posts. The reason I love to read you, Kori, is that you are *real*!

Life is not all perfect. As The Man in Black says, "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something."

But, moving on.... two wasp stings on the cooch?!?!?! I'm in tears just thinking about it.

And what's the freaking deal with toddlers and meat? MJ is a self proclaimed vegetarian (and now for totally unrelated reasons CableDad and I are goiing back to veg status too) and not only refuses to dig on flesh, but she'll spit it out, say something close to "gak" and then wipe her tongue off if you try to sneak meat into her.

*shrug* Kids are fucking strange.

Mama Smurf said...

K...so I'm torn between laughing (at getting stung in the hoo-ha region)....man does that make for some interesting blog material! I can only imagine the dance that took place after THAT!...so did you, like, strip back down to your underwear again with the smoke still in hand?

and crying for your worry. I won't tell you to "look on the bright side" or "join a group" or to have your kids "join the 4H"...LOL!

But, as someone who was raised by a single, full time, working mother who struggled to make ends meet, I will tell you that "this too shall pass" and I was not scarred for life because my mom had to miss a few important events. It hurt at the time but as an adult I can look at those times in our life and appreciate how hard it was on her to be a single parent.

And keep on keep'n it real....that's why I'm enjoying your blog!

Tara R. said...

I almost feel bad that my weekend was so uneventful... I didn't even get to shoot the kid with ice water this morning. Sorry about the wasp sting, but look at it this way if you had gone into anaphylactic shock at least you managed to get your pants back on.

Hope life takes a turn for the better real soon.

FreedomFirst said...

Ouch! Hunter got his first wasp sting recently; he grabbed one right off the window upstairs. His cries of betrayal were heartbreaking - especially when he realized the hurt wasn't going away just because he let go of it. Poor guy.
If someone volunteered to let a 15-year-old LEARN to drive in their car, seems to me they shoulder the responsibility of an accident happening. I sure hope that guy won't be ignorant enough to actually expect YOU to pay for that.
Those staff meetings suck. I think that was my impetus to leave the daycare more than anything. It was like, "Are you f---ing kidding me? I'm leaving my kids for THIS?" All they do is pretend you don't know anything so that they can pretend they are teaching you something. Ugh!

Anonymous said...

LOL! That reminds me - when I was 15 and in the "I'm so hot stage." I used to run around in those cute little short shorts. That is until the day I sat on the ground and sat right the #*$&#$& bee that was crawling around down there. I was so happy I could provide that kind of entertainment to all of my friends who were available to watch at the time.
I never have worn shorts since then.

Anonymous said...

We DID pay and we DID SHOULDER THE RESPONSIBILITY!! It really was quite funny and not at all expensive....Kori you're the only other person I know who calls it a hoo-ha. I knew we were friends for a reason!!