Change is Coming

You know what I am trying to do today? Nothing. By that I mean that there are all of these different things going through my head, different snippets of conversations and emails sent to me sort of floating around up there, and today I am just simply letting them lie. For this day, this moment, there is no action I either need to or CAN take, about anything, and while there are a lot of things both internally and externally that are going to be coming up, decisions to be made, none of them require immediate action. It feels good to know that I have the ability today to not obsess about things over which I have no control, as well as the knowledge that sometimes no answer is, in fact, the answer.

Last night my friend P. stopped by the house, and it was lovely. She came just as I was getting dinner ready. so Hannah very generously finished making and serving dinner so we could talk. She had a cup of tea, I had coffee (of course), as we just sat on the couch and talked. If you recall, she is the mom of the man who died, M., and this was the first time we have spent together since then. She is an amazingly beautiful person, strong in her sobriety and very successful professionally, so I feel humbled that she would feel like my place is a good, safe place to come. We talked about a lot of things, some really quite serious and others less so, and the funny thing is how much we both got from that.

That, however, really shouldn't surprise me. God arranges things in such a way that as long as I listen, I will hear everything I need to hear. With P., I was able to talk about different things going on in my life and she had knowledge and wisdom based on her own experiences. The same applied; there were some things about which she spoke that I have personal knowledge of; while I don't think either if us is egotistical enough to believe that WE supplied the final solution to the other's problems, I do believe that both of us came away with another piece to the puzzle, another little bit of wisdom to help decisions to be made. Really, isn't that some sort of moment of grace? I think it is.

On a more mundane front, Hannah has her first ever job interview tomorrow afternoon. She picked up and application a few days ago, turned it in last night when we were on our way home, and they called her a couple of hours later to set up the interview. A year ago she was adamant about not wanting to do fast food. Six months ago, when she turned 16, she was less adamant but still pretty sure that she was going to start out with something along the lines of upper management, but now? She is just hoping to get a job somewhere. And as she says, "Hey, at least it isn't McDonald's." I hope she gets it; she seems pretty excited about the whole prospect, and I think it would do her a lot of good to get out in the world just a little bit more. Have a little bit of independence, get a taste of real life.

It has been raining so much lately that our grass is, quite literally, knee high. Now granted, I am pretty short, so to you normal sized people that maybe wouldn't be so bad, but it is quite long enough. I despair of getting it mowed this week because it is supposed to rain on and off all week, and the mower is at Steve's since we no longer have a garage, and it hasn't been serviced and sharpened yet...good thing I have a strong teenaged boy whose labor I can exploit.

Otherwise, all is quiet here. It feels like the quiet that comes from a new change in the works, and this time, I think it will be a good change, whatever it might look like when it happens.