Friday, May 29, 2009

Friday Fragments

Friday Fragments?
Friday Fragments is brought to you by Mrs.4444. If you love little snippets of information from the brains of strangers like I do, this is the place to go. Because I don't know about any of you, but me? I am nosy like that.

***goddamn cell-phone-yapping-driving-a-new-SUV-that-mysteriously-didn't-come-with-turn-signals-installed-motherfuckers. Need I say more?

***School is out today; this is always a lot more exciting to the kids than to me, and the excitement will wear off within, say, a week. However, in celebration, I am allowing Eli to have three friends over tonight (because of that weird issue about not letting my kids spend the night at people's houses much anymore); what was I thinking? Four looming teenaged boys eating everything in the house. Except for one of them who really won't eat anything besides plain noodles with salt and pepper on them and microwave popcorn. I am trying not to take that personally.

***If I think about it too much, I get all panicked because even though school is just getting out, before I know it summer will be over. Does that mean I am getting old?

***I have that feedjit thing now, if you have noticed. So, hi to my sister and/or cousin in my old hometown who are reading this!

***I have one of those bamboo plants in my living room, and it is supposed to bring prosperity, or so they say. I am wondering, what kind of bad juju is going to come around if I actually manage to kill it? "They" also say that they are virtually impossible to kill because all they need is water and sunlight; I beg to differ.

***Sam and Eli are going to get to spend some time over the summer with their cousin, who is also technically their half-brother as I chose adoption for him and my sister adopted him. Now if THAT isn't awkward, right? No, it will be good for all of them because they genuinely like one another. Word of advice, though: open family adoptions are not nearly as good as they always sound like they will be. If any of you or your children are in a position where you are considering adoption, I wouldn't recommend a family adoption. Too many underlying issues.

***I have to get all prettied up and go to a wedding tomorrow. Yeah; a wedding. One of my favorite places to be, especially as it is a FAMILY wedding. Steve's family, but still. nothing is ever so much fun as showing up at a wedding and having to field the questions. you know, the "So when are you two getting married?" (Never, thanks for rubbing that one in). "So now, are you taking care of Steve the way you should?" (um, hello? He is 40? I already have four kids, thanks). "I have a set of pots and pans left in the attic that I was going to give to Steve when he got married...I hope the rats haven't gotten to them." Yeah, me too. Because if a rat can ruin a stainless steel pan, that is one big fucking rat. You all know those events, though, where the best thing to do is go and have fun and just pretend like you are slowly losing your hearing when people say things like that. Really, if you say, "Excuse me? I didn't catch that." enough times, people eventually walk away.

***If you haven't read or commented on my latest post here, please do. Not because it is so great, but we really need more traffic on this blog, and there are some really good writers who contribute to it. Bookmark it, add it to your favorites, whatever. Just don't miss out on some good stuff.

Thanks again to mrs.4444 for this idea. And go join in; it is a lot of fun!

17 comments:

Kristin H. said...

The bit about the rat really took it over the top for me. Just sayin'.

melscolorfulmetaphors said...

Maybe you can imagine those giant rats gnawing at the people who ask you stupid questions?

shopannies said...

think positive I did when reading your post I read between the lines and hope you don't mind saw the humor and agreed with most of it

Dingo said...

The next time you are at a wedding and someone asks you a question that is none of your business, you should say in a very loud voice, "Hey, did you ever get that nasty genital rash cleared up?" They will never ask you another question again.

MindyMom said...

I love your attitude Kori. It will help you survive the family wedding. Or at least provide us with some good reading after the event.

Have a great weekend.

won said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
April said...

I'm telling you: boycott the weddings!
I love you.

Mrs4444 said...

Wouldn't it be cool if we ended up at the same wedding tomorrow?! We could hang out. I'll be the one in the sleevless (what was I thinking?), short (Mr.4444 begged me) black, white, and blue dress. :)

Good luck tonight; I hope they don't eat you out of house and home! And no, it doesn't make you old (because that would mean that I'm old, too!)

Ms. Moon said...

I always think of doing Friday fragments but for some reason, I always feel very philosophical and wordy on Fridays.
And I have to say that I was not aware of the fact that you are part of an open adoption. Wow, girl. You have many parts to your life. Amazing.

Kirby3131 said...

I don't like those cell phone drivers either. :)

some of those bamboo plants are just diseased and don't live. Don't worry about it :)

justme said...

I had one of those bamboo plants too...a HUGE sweet ass one my brother gave me for x-mas about 6 years ago. Loved that thing. Let me say that they CAN die...my cats ate on it enough that eventually it all died.

Sometimes I hate those beasts. Good luck with yours. They are awesome plants.

Good luck at the wedding tomorrow. And with all the crazy boys tonight!

J'Ollie Primitives said...

Bamboo does NOT survive cats treating it like an appetizer.

Just tell any Nosy Parkers that have the gall to ask about your wedding date "I'm not the marrying kind" with a great.big.smile. Usually takes the wind out of THAT conversation. grrrrrr

Julie said...

My fragment comments:
*I despise people who don't use their turn signal. Have they no regard for others?!

*I've have the same bambook shoot for a few years. It's the only plant I can keep alive... As long as it's not in range of the cat's mouth.

*I've found recently that a Xanax is quite lovely when faced with family affairs. It eases the pain when fielding "why don't you have a boyfriend" and "Gee I want a great-grandchild...".

Anonymous said...

I can see now why you don't have much reader traffic. . . and yes, I'm one of those SUV drivers who talk on their cell phone now, ESPECIALLY SINCE IT IS ILLEGAL (!) and don't signal. I just run 'em over as I move into the next lane!

lololol

FreedomFirst said...

Lol at your description of the family interrogators. And Dingo, really! Heavens, how rude! :D

I think family adoptions require a REALLY strong personal bond and a huge amount of trust. I have asked my oldest sister to be the boys' legal guardian in the event something happens to us, but I have a confidence in her that I don't extend even to my Mom. Certainly not to my brothers; but that's a bit different anyway. My sister is one-of-a-kind and takes life very much in stride. That, and her excellent sense of humor, make her a good choice to parent boys. I'm fortunate to have her.

HalfAsstic.com said...

OK,KORI! You've twisted my arm and I will go and check it out! HA! ;-)

Karen MEG said...

Kori, these were great fragments. I can sympathize with the first one! Oh, and I would kill the bamboo too... me and plants are not a good combo.

Hope the wedding wasn't too painful!

And thanks for your comments; you don't know how much they mean :).