Monday

I just got back to the office after going to the arraignment for CF (the acronym is courtesy of April, BTW), and there were no real surprises in that he pled Not Guilty. However, he has been formally charged now with FOUR felonies instead of three, and three of the four are The Big Ones, while the last is a "minor" one. My guess is that the 4th charge is there simply to be thrown away, and the more severe charges are there to be pled down, but we shall see. A preliminary hearing has been set for January 12th, and a trial date for January 28th. At this point, of course, we don't know if it will go to trial or not, but we have to prepare as if it will. After this, I don't know what we need to do, and will call the Prosecutor tomorrow to find out.

I sort of crept in and sat at the back, right next to the aisle; up until the very end they didn't know I was there. Actually, I am not sure if the prosecutor or the defense attorney even knew, but CF sure did. He sort of sauntered out of the little box and down the aisle, and then he saw me. Our eyes met, even, and he immediately hung his head and walked a lot less cockily. Which was my point. I needed him to see that I was there, and that I was pissed, and that there is no way we are going to let this go. Not a chance in hell. Mission accomplished. All in all, I was only over to the courthouse for 15 minutes or so, but I feel like big things were accomplished in that 15 minutes. Plus I am giving myself major bonus points for exercising restraint; I did NOT glare, I did not flip him off, I simply looked at him and raised my eyebrows. That's it.

And now we move on and wait to see what happens next. In the meantime, as I have said a thousand times before, life just keeps going on, and we take it as it comes. Friday was a little hectic and crazy with me having to run to the school and pick up a very ill Sam, then take him in to see Janet as well. After work was the AA Christmas party, so the kids all stayed at Jacquie's while we went. I had been bitching some because it started so early this year (6:00!), which makes it a little hard to get everything together when you don't' get off until 5:00, but in retrospect I was glad. I had picked up the kids and we were home by 9:30, which was really quite nice.

Saturday, we went with Steve to a neighboring town to have dinner and see a huge display of lights that is up every year. It is at the base of one of the mountains, and it was bitterly cold, but well worth it. From the top of the drive, it looks and sounds like a carnival with all of the lights dancing and the music playing. I can't quite describe it, other than completely garish and loud and, dare I say it, almost tacky, yet absolutely perfect. It is very hard to be all "Bah Humbug" when you have a two year old who got to see Santa for the first time in memory, and see all the different lights and dioramas, or a nine year old who notices every little detail, or a 16 year old who still wants to hang out with the family, or a man who is just so handsome that you want to eat him up. Really. There was also a CAMEL there, which strikes me as hilarious, yet equally fitting to the whole mood of the place. We were given both candy canes and carrots by Santa, so were able to feed the camel. I had never seen one up close and was surprised at both how huge he was, as well as how strangely beautiful. Are any of you totally screaming "Hick!" by now?

The rest of the weekend was also good, albeit quiet. I spent a lot of time on Sunday making plans for the Christmas deal, including making sure Eli gets to go spend time with my dad and making the arrangements for that. I won't say that I have gone so far as to be EXCITED about it all, but I am getting there, slowly but surely. Thanks to all of you who are helping with that, too. I sure feel a lot less alone these days, which is no small thing.

And today? A good day so far. Breathing room again so far as CF goes, the prospect of snow, the beginning of the first parties at the daycare tonight. These small things are what cobble together the ability to handle (somewhat) the big things, so I am grateful for them.