Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A Decision is Made

It has just occurred to me that I am coming up on 200 posts. That just seems little bit crazy to me. It is funny, I was just looking through the archives and remembered how excited I would get when I would get 6 comments. Like, 6 comments was a really, really good day! I have to just shake my head and laugh at myself now. I mean, it isn't like I have 80 comments like SOME (ahem, you know who you are...and I still like you anyway!), or get interviewed for newspapers (ahem again) but still-I have a ***following***! Yep, makes you chuckle out loud, doesn't it?


A lot of people in my real life don't "get" the whole blogging thing, and I don't know that it can be explained. For me, so much of my life has revolved around writing, around trying to make my thoughts into words so as to make them REAL, that for me this seems a reasonable offshoot of that. The fact that people READ me just makes it all the better.


Due a rather strange series of seemingly unrelated conversations-from the comments made here and in my day to day life-I have made some decisions regarding this whole writing/blogging thing. Don't worry, I am not going to do a bunk and just disappear, nor am I moving to another location and not telling any of you where I am. It isn't anything less than what I am doing now; instead, it is more. Or has the potential to be. You all know about my money issues, and while things are looking up so that I can put off getting a second job immediately, I have got to find a way to get more money coming in. This seems like such a no-brainer to many people, but the long-term ramifications of taking on another job are far-reaching in terms of, "Who will raise my kids?" and it isn't a decision easily made. I find it nearly impossible to contemplate making my 16 year old daughter have the added responsibility of taking care of her younger siblings three or four nights a week, and I would have to work at least that often to make any appreciable financial difference. Also, I would be unable to continue to be the kind of mom I AM if I am gone. While I can't go so far as to say "I have thought of little else!" in the last month or so, the thoughts have been circling around in my mind on some level nearly all of the time.

Then, in the space of a few weeks, some of you made the comment about writing for pay (paraphrasing, okay?), along with some suggestions, and then several people in my everyday life have made comments about how much they like my writing, how good I am, and that I should be doing it part-time. Honestly, I kind of blew them off, all of them, because that icky, self-conscious little me was all like, "No way could I ever do something like THAT! I am not good enough!" As usual, the voice sounds like my mom. So I have thought about this, too, a lot...

And I realize that not only CAN I do it, I HAVE done it. I had an article published in a (little-known) Attachment Parenting magazine. My college (and that was mere years ago, I was 32) English Professor took ALL of my essays to use for examples of "The Perfect Paper." This isn't to say I see myself as perfect, not by any means. But what I am, at the risk of sounding cocky, is good. I have gone through some of my old posts and some of them really stand out to me as, "Wow." Of course, others make me cringe and want to delete delete delete, but those I just put down as part of the process.

So that is what my decision is; I am just going to grab life by the balls and start writing. I have begun to write about the ongoing situation with Hannah, using different parts of different posts, pieces from my journal, etc...and when I get it all wrapped up and ready it will be submitted to a magazine I know and love. I already own the Writer's Digest for 2008 (can you say GEEK?), which is an invaluable resource. In short, I am going to begin doing seriously something I have wanted and needed to do for a long time.

I know that the likelihood of me becoming wealthy is non-existent-and that is okay. I know that writing is hard, painstaking, frustrating work, but that is also okay (I am not exactly a paragon of NON-Laziness, but I am also no stranger to hard work. So, meh). I just think that maybe desperation has been leading me to this place of doing what I really, really want to do, physically need to do, yearn for. And if I happen to make enough to pay the occasional bills sometimes? All the better.

So that is the decision for the day. I have been carrying it around for a little while, not wanting to really say much to anyone or for God's sake on my BLOG, because you might laugh at me or think it is silly. But then today, saying it out loud, I think, "Yes. This is exactly right."

30 comments:

Mr Lady said...

I think this is an excellent decision, and OH MY GOD I hope it works. I can't see why it wouldn't; you are a fabulous writer.

Tara R. said...

That is awesome! You are a fabulous writer, and should do very well. Let us know when you get something in print so we can get it and say 'see, I knew her when...."

hugabug1 said...

Oh Kori! I am so excited for you! I truly hope it works out. Getting paid for doing something you love? How great would that be! You have a way with words that really draws people in. I'll be praying for your success.

Tracey said...

I have been tossing around the idea of writing with more purpose lately, too. Hope it goes well for you!

Gabriella Moonlight said...

Good for you...since I am among your followers...will you autograph a copy of your first book...this is great and I send you the best energy I have for this endeavor.
Hugs,
G

April said...

GREAT decision! I'm behind you 100% hun.

CableGirl said...

Good for you. Grab it by the balls and run with it. You are a great writer, compelling and unique. I'm sure if you have the time and set your mind to it you will be surprised by how well you do.

Kristin H. said...

Well done Kori :) I hope you realize all your wildest dreams!

Ree said...

Good for you. Sometimes, you just have to jump in. Both feet. We're cheering for you.

Melissa said...

This is the best thing I've heard all day. You are such an eloquent writer. You've taken your situation and described it with such grace. I am so envious of that gift.

I can't wait to see what you come up with. Best of luck!

geekhiker said...

Best of luck to you. One thing I will say, and I have heard this from many writers I know, is to try to find yourself a good editor. No, not because there's any flaw with your writing, any more than their is with their's, but every writer I know says that having a good editor helps them to refine and focus their pieces, which helps get them sold.

In any case, I think you'll do quite well out there... :)

Julie said...

Perfect!!

Lynn said...

Fabulous idea!! Listen to the voice that says "I can" not the other one.

I'm thrilled if I get 2 comments...lol

Jennifer said...

I'm so excited for you Kori! I think that is a great decision. You're an excellent writer and I know you will do well!

I need to do some catching up on your blog--I always try to read yours when I have enough time to really peruse--and I've been so short on time lately! I apologize andd I'll try to catch up!

HalfAsstic.com said...

Yea! for you! I feel so proud, and I know that sounds condescending, but I really mean it. That is wonderful and if it makes the money that is needed...more the better!

LiteralDan said...

This is a great decision, for you and for everyone who'd read you, so I'm happy you've made it. Can't wait to see your name in print!

Dingo said...

This is an excellent idea! Will you promise to make time for me when you come to NYC on your book tour?

Mama Smurf said...

See?! This is why I think you're awesome. I so hope this works out for you! And there is absolutely NO reason why you can't be wealthy! Rowlings did it!

Jill said...

yeah!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

I can not think of another blog that I read that has improved so much over the past year.

Even more impressive considering that your starting point wasn't bloody bad either!

Right market, right audience, you can absolutely do this.

FreedomFirst said...

That's great! I do think you are a very good and interesting writer, and I hope you make a lot of money doing it. I can't wait to read one of your articles!

justme said...

Laugh at you?????!! Are you kidding?????

I think it is a WONDERFUL FABULOUS EXCELLENT decision!!! You are a GREAT writer, and like you said, it is a passion of yours, and THAT is the best kind of 'work'!

I wish you much success Kori...as long as you don't get a big head and forget about us lil' ole blogger friends ;0)

((hugs))

TnAHurst said...

I was reading so intently and got interupted about the time you were talking about work and I was thinking please dont leave!haha I'm soo glad you have decided to write! Even though you are older than I am is it ok to say I'm very proud of all that you do and have done for your family? Because I am!! I want to know updates if or better yet when you get things published!

Linda said...

Go for it Kori! Wonder if your local paper would hire you to do spotlight type articles? There is a person in town here that does that. Also for the local power newspaper. Just a couple of thoughts.

Hope you are doing ok. I tried an e-mail a while ago to check in, but didn't hear back.

alaskagirl76

Linda said...

Wow, I am sorry to see that life has been so challenging. I have not been reading for a while and just went back and read a number of your posts.

I sure hope Hannah does ok and thing work out for her!

Take care and I hope life improves!!!

JT said...

Not only that, but it is the most cathartic release ever known. And when you have a gift for turning out the writing like you do, it absolutely should be used for the better of future of newer generations coming to look on someone like you, and use the experience you show so well to learn life by it's various rules.
I love your writing, your turn of phrase, and how you turn something you are living into something that can be felt, not just read. You have a gift, and gifts should never be wasted, but utilized to every degree possible. Revel in your ability to write, you have that rare gift for others to feel what you write, not just absorb it.

Rachael said...

Good for you Kori! You really are a great writer, and you have a lot to share with the world. I can't WAIT to see what you do next.

Julie said...

what a good decison and I think you are a wonderful writer. Good luck.

J'Ollie Primitives said...

ATTA GIRL!

micki said...

Go for it!