Bling and a Meme

Look at that; isn't she a beauty? Mama Smurf over at My Life gave this to me, and this is actually how she put it:

"...cuz I have a soft spot for a gal that tells it like it is. And I just have a soft spot for this chic in general. Life has dealt her some pretty low blows but she always comes out pointing at the shiny spot on a rusty old dilapidated Lincoln."

So of course there are rules, the first being that I have to tell you all ten honest things about me. Like her, my life is pretty much an open book so this might be a little bit difficult, but here goes.

1. I recently found out that there are several people in my real day-to-day life who read my blog. Including a couple of family members and a co-worker (Hi, Amber!). The honesty part of this is that now I am finding myself censoring a little bit more than I normally would for fear of hurting someone's feelings or maybe giving them some insight into me that I really don't want them to have. At the same time, I don't want them to stop reading, so there is a conundrum for sure there.

2. I hate those holiday letters I get in the mail from people every year. I find them pretentious and usually based on a small grain of truth, with a large helping of "let's twist this around to make us look as good as possible" thrown in. I know that the intentions are good, or at least I like to assume they are because I believe that most people ARE well-intended, but please. Also, it is offensive to me that they are addressed, "Dear Friends and Family..." At least take the time to write my name at the top, okay? Whenever I get them, I feel like mooing, just one more cow in the cattle drive of life.

3. I have all of these great plans for Christmas dinner, right? I think I mentioned something about prime rib? All that is well and good, and I love to cook, but I have the slightest bit of a problem focusing. In that I inevitably burn to a crisp two out of five sheets of cookies, usually because I am reading. I also habitually burn grilled cheese sandwiches because I am, you know, reading. And forget they are cooking. At one point, I was cursing my seeming inability to make a golden-brown grilled cheese and Eli said, "That's okay, mom, I LIKE the taste of burned!"

4. Sometimes the fact that I have these four kids is truly the only reason I get up in the mornings. I don't want to kill myself, nor do I want to die in some freak accident, but there are some days when it just seems like too much effort. Another conundrum is that one of my biggest fears-the kind that wakes me up in the middle of the night sweating-is dying while my kids are young, when they still need me so much. Is it any wonder I sound so crazy half of the time?

5. I like the smell of roses, but I hate the smell of rose perfume. It reminds me of those scary ladies at church with their powdery, wrinkled skin and their long, gnarled fingers that seemed like they were going to claw my eyes out instead of pinching my cheeks. It smells like death to me, and even though I have mostly gotten over my fear of those ladies, the smell still freaks me out, big time.

6. I don't think I would mind living above a mortuary because I don't think that dead bodies are scary at all. They are just there. However, there is a bell that rings, really loudly, every time someone brings a body in, day or night. I can hear that bell both at my house AND at the office if it is quiet and it makes me flinch every time.

7. I love to read almost more than anything. We will rent movies or get our Netflix ones, and they will sometimes be ones I really thought I wanted to see, but I always end up reading through most of the movie. and then I annoy the shit out of the kids by saying, "Now, why is so and so doing that?" "Who is that person?" I don't know why I do this, but I always have. One time in third grade I got grounded for reading too much, I kid you not. My mom said I could watch TV instead-which even then made no sense to me whatsoever.

8. I have a hard time spending money. I mean, beyond the obvious in that I never have a lot TO spend. There is part of me that is really, really tight-fisted; I am sure that there is some psychological explanation for it that has to do with the feast-or-famine mentality, but I just know that even if I HAVE it, it is like pulling teeth to get me to part with it. However (another conundrum), I am generous and like to buy things for other people; maybe it is just spending money on things for myself that I have a hard time with.

9. I really don't like to gamble. One time I spent something like 4 hours playing the PENNY slots at a reservation with my then-mother -in-law. I think that has something to do with #8 up there. Plus all of the lights and the smoke and the odd people that come out of the woodwork bother me some.

10. It has never once occurred to me to censor what the kids have read. I don't actually own any "bad" books" other than my Nora Roberts/J.D. Robb ones (and the ones that are really sexy get given back to Jacquie as soon as I am done with them, usually), but even so, I am sure they have read some that are not really very appropriate. At the same time, one of the biggest advantages I have seen to this is that they have read things far beyond their years and have been exposed to all sorts of new things. For instance, on my (one of my) shelf I have a book by Annie Dillard sitting next to The Writer's Presence (a college textbook) which is right by the book of essays by Barbara Kingsolver which is underneath Steinbeck. Eli has read Hemingway, and all of them know who George Eliot and Georgia O'Keefe are. I don't think that can ever be a bad thing.

So there you go. Not very exciting, is it? And I know I am supposed to pass this on to other Bloggers, but you know, I am just not going to. Take it if you want it, because I think they are fun to do, and pass it on if you want to. I would love to see some of you tell me one honest thing about yourself in the comment sections, but if not? Meh, whatever.