Wednesday, April 23, 2008

To Hell with Conflict-It's My Birthday!

You lucky folks, you get a double post from me today, being as it's my birthday and all. I thought I would give YOU all a present by posting twice. Yeah, right, whatever.

In all seriousness, though, I got some rocking presents this year, and I wanted to share some of them with you. I am leaving for vacation tomorrow after work, thanks to my friend Camille who got my plane tickets for me; how freaking cool is THAT? I have NEVER been on a trip without at least one child with me, so this is quite a gift, and I am so grateful. Next, dude, I got THE coolest smoker last night! Yes, for those of you who are not as white trash as I am, it is a receptacle in which I can put charcoal and wood chips (the preferred flavor at our house is hickory) and actually smoke me some MEAT. Or fish, which is my personal favorite. Or turkey. Or ham. Anyway, I have really been wanting one, and Steve got me one. Along with some wool "Cabin Slippers," which really look cool on me. They are green and cream wool, with a leather bottom, and they lace up at the knee. Love them. From the kids this morning, I got two Oreos and lots of hugs and kisses. A few checks in the mail from various family members....and an awesome fucking birthday post on my behalf from my friend April.

But to wax sentimental here, the presents are, of course, really nice, and I am grateful, but the things I have this year are so much more than that. I keep looking back at the last year, from #35 (AKA the Kiss of Death) to this one, the big 36, and it has just been such a crazy, awful, wonderful year, and I will be the first to say that I am not the same person I was a year ago. I have learned and grown so much, from people I would never have expected to learn things from, and no matter how I might feel tomorrow, today is a good day. I have been heartbroken for the LAST FUCKING TIME in the last year, I have been literally bankrupted by an ex-husband, I thoroughly got screwed by this online group of mommies with whom I fell in love and I had to leave (for some reason, those conservative Christians women tend not to care for me; can't quite figure that one out. Do I maybe swear a little too much?). I have experienced all sorts of craziness, a lot of major things and even more minor ones, all of which make up this thing called life-and I am still here.

And here is my little thank you to a few very important people: to my April, for the same reasons she posted on her site about ME. Believe me, honey, I would be even more fucking nuts and emotionally unbalanced than I am without you to vent, cry, yell to-and then to laugh with and talk about how much we love our kids and want better for them, for ourselves. To Jacquie, who is my best IRL friend, and Janet-two strong, beautiful women who do all of those things that women do for people they love: they have fed me, cried for me and with me, wiped snot and tears from my face, and then told me to get my shit together and take another step forward. Without these three women, I know I wouldn't have made it through the last year with any semblance of grace or dignity or sanity.

There are so many other people, though, online and IRL, that I can't and won't list them all. Not because I don't want to acknowledge them, but because hey, it is almost 5:00; time to go to Jacquie's, where we will be feasting on steak and potatoes and birthday cake.

Life is so good, SO beautiful, and if you can't see a glimmer of that on even the worst days, open your eyes a little wider. We don't have a lot of time here in the greater scheme of things, and I don't know about you, but I sure don't want to waste anymore of it.

PS: NappyRash? Good luck. I will SO be praying that Spencer swims long and hard, my man!

8 comments:

April said...

Hope you have a great night! You know we'll email before your trip :) And you know who from you-know-where...fuck her. I love you!

cablegirl said...

Now that's more like it. I can say Happy Birthday freely in this post. It just seemed a little... out of place on the last one. :)

So where are you going on your awesome trip with no children?

The Immoral Matriarch said...

Happy Happy Happy Birthday!

Tara R. said...

Read April's B-Day post for you and wanted to check this out. I can see why she likes you so much. Happy Birthday!

abrightfuture said...

Hope you had a wonderful birthday!!!

April is awesome -- Y'all are lucky to have found one another!!!

hugabug1 said...

Well, here's one VERY conservative Christian who likes you quite a bit. I think you-know-who just has a few self-esteem issues. I, however, have learned a lot from you over the past year or so. Yes, I'll admit, I could stand less swearing. But, I figure there's a reason I "met" you, and so far that reason seems to be for me to learn a couple of very important lessons. The main one being that not only does everyone have a story, but everyone has something to teach. I've learned from you and April that single moms are heroes and people don't have to believe the same things as I do to make them someone I can learn from.

Happy Birthday!

FreedomFirst said...

Oh man, I missed your birthday! Shame on me. Happy belated birthday! Thanks for being an awesome friend. And I hope you have the greatest vacation ever.

Kate said...

Smokers are white trash? - oh well. My landlord from the hopefully someday famous quote board apartment made his own on our deck where we used to drink beer, smoke and play cribbage. ah my single days, now I'm waxing sentimental. So glad you had a rocking birthday no one deserves it more.