Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Party Is Over

One more hurdle over with; the office dinner last night is over, and I managed to get through it relatively unscathed. There was one awkward moment when the boss' wife said, "So are we expecting another person?" after the rest of us had congregated, but I just laughed and said, "Heavens no!" and that was that. The food was good, although there was way too much of it (which you will not often hear me say), and the company was also good. I like that part of it, the talking around the table and keeping it light; what I DON'T like is the cozy atmosphere afterward where someone might get me cornered and ask me things I don't want to answer. It is funny; everyone in the office KNOWS about the ongoing situation with Hannah, but I have tried very hard to not let my true emotions come out. Have to maintain the image of being okay, have to make sure the boss knows that I am truly dedicated to the job and am not going to let the outside issues affect my performance (which I have been, but I fake it well). Amber, the receptionist, is the only one who knows how I REALLY feel, partly because she reads the blog and partly because she is nice; she doesn't ignore the crying in the cubicle, and I don't have to feel embarrassed about tearing up in front of her if she asks how we are doing. I was thinking, too, that it is a blessing to have at least one person who will not shy away or cringe when I answer, "No, we are not okay" when asked; that is such a freeing thing. It doesn't CHANGE anything, but it is nice not to pretend all of the time.

Anyway, I skipped the whole going to the boss' house afterward, using the excuse that I did not want to leave Eli home with the little boys too long. While under most circumstances that would be true, I also knew that Owen would be in bed at just after 8:00, so I was stretching the truth a little bit. I think that is a truth-stretching with which I can live, though. When I got home, Owen was waiting in bed for me to come sing to him, and Sam was all sleepy and curled up on the floor waiting to say goodnight, and I would much rather be there than at a party.

I feel very calm and quiet inside today. We still have all of this stuff going on, of course, and after the new year we will have to jump right back in to the reality of trial dates and counseling appointments, we will have to deal with this situation head on again, but for now it feels really nice to not have that looming over our heads. So far as another income goes, there are a couple of possibilities out there, and while again that doesn't solve the problems right this minute, it does bode well for the future. What I like is not feeling so stuck; I always feel better after I have taken action of some sort, even if it doesn't GO anywhere or turns out to have been a wrong choice.

And today is my 200th post; shouldn't there be some sort of fanfare, some waving of flags or a celebration of some sort? Hm. Perhaps I will go in the back and get another cup of coffee and a chocolate cookie and call it good.


P.S. I have gotten requests from a few of you to follow me on Twitter, and I wanted to let you know that I am not simply ignoring you or declining. Instead, what has happened is that I cannot remember my password and, okay, I never could figure out the whole thing. So there. I still adore all of you just as much, I just haven't had the time or the inclination to retrieve my passwird and try it again. That is also why I quit Plurking; I only lasted two days and felt like was trying to read the dictionary while on crack.

20 comments:

Kori said...

So glad you enjoyed yourself a little. Congratulations on the 200 posts. I am getting close to that mark myself. Enjoy your coffee and cookie because yes it is all good.

April said...

I don't plurk or twitter. I have enough time-wasters already!
Sounds like you left at just the right time. Sometimes those kids come in handy for begging off things.
Love you.

Melissa said...

Office parties are always awkward even in the best of circumstances, but it sounds like you did well.

And good luck with the income boosters!

200 posts! Woot!

TnAHurst said...

I was very glad you came lastnight and enjoyed dinner! I did omg I havent had steak in a long while! I loved every bite! We just watched a football game and gave cards/gifts lastnight so you didnt miss much...I was happy to be mentioned:):)in your blog! I have to admit that I was wondering if someone was comming...I'd ditch Thayne to keep you company if it came to it! He'd understand!

hugabug1 said...

200 posts?! You totally deserve a foam finger moment!!

FreedomFirst said...

*lights* *fanfare* *balloons* *confetti* CONGRATULATIONS 200!!!

Lol. I found Twitter more of a bother than it was worth, personally. It's not an actual blog and I just don't have the time.

Grr! I just noticed a leak in the ceiling has splattered yucky water all over my side table. :(

Well, I attended my first party ever this past weekend, at Mark's cousin's house. It was alright. I think it will be better next year since we were unaware we needed to stay, like, all night! It was just getting started when we left at near midnight. Plus the cleaners returned my dress without the lining, and it was a knit dress, so I couldn't move around much for fear of revealing more than I'm comfortable with. And we barely knew anyone.

So next year, his cousin offered to give us the spare bedroom, and we'll have my sister stay overnight with the boys and just crash at her place. And that way I won't have to be the Grinch who refuses to drink the spiked eggnog. Lol.

TnAHurst said...

Oh I forgot your fanfare for you 200th blog....DO_DO_DO_DO!!!ALL HAIL KORI FOR HER AMAZING 200TH BLOG!!!!! HAHA!:)

Mama Smurf said...

Cup of coffee in one hand and a bag of trail mix in the other...toasting your 200th post. Cheers!

Rachael said...

Wow, 200! Congrats!

Martin said...

I loved the bit about coming home early to the boys waiting.

Tara R. said...

Yay on 200 posts! I'm glad you have been able to enjoy all those holiday festivities. You and Hannah will make it through the tough times after the first of the year. Have a little fun now

A Very Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Julie@My5monkeys said...

so congrats on 200 post and glad that things went well at the party.

Momo Fali said...

Happy 200th!

There are so many times when I would rather be home with my kids than out socializing. When my kids aren't fighting, home is the coziest, most peaceful place in the world.

Unknown said...

You are so amazing to me Kori. I am glad that the office party is now over and you did well. I've been asked if I'm preggers before and laughed and said, not unless it's a food baby, and left it at that. LOL, you did brillaintly!

I send you all lots of love and hope for the holidays and hugs.
G

Anonymous said...

I'm here waving flags and celebrating! Congrats on your 200th post!

I hope you have a peaceful, relaxing, family filled (but only with the ones you like) Christmas.

Ronda's Rants said...

I know I am old Kori...but I haven't any idea what Twittering or plurking are? I am barely on facebook...about the time I get it...they change it!
I think you should like you may have a handle on everything...whether you feel that way is another matter!
I hope you have a very relaxed Christmas and may God bless you and your sweet family!

Anonymous said...

Thank you Kori.

And congratulations. 200 posts is a long way to go.

If I don't have a chance to say it tomorrow, Merry Christmas, and may you and your family have a wonderful Christmas day.

Anonymous said...

Feeling "calm and quiet on the inside" is a good place to be. Hard for most of us to get there!

won said...

Here's to 200 more...

Congrats!!

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas and congrats on the 200th post.